It was a typical morning:  the sun had not yet risen and I was up before everyone else.  I sipped on a cup of coffee while sitting in my favorite spot in the living room, soaking up the quiet time that I wouldn’t get again for another 24 hours.  I knew the kids would be waking soon but I wasn’t quite ready to get up and officially start my day.  

I heard footsteps and knew Kaylie was on her way down.  But when I looked up, it was Kyle who skipped into the room.  It was Kyle who said, “Good morning, Mom!”  

I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears and I began crying as I wrapped my arms around him.

And then I woke up.

As I looked around my dark bedroom, I wondered if it had really happened.  Did Kyle start talking?  Did he really get himself up and ready and down the stairs to greet me?  So many thoughts in just a split second, but then I knew it had all been a dream.  My heart sank, the tears began to fall, and I closed my eyes, willing myself back into that dream.

I wanted to hear Kyle’s sweet voice again.  

I wanted to hear him call me “Mom” again.  

This wasn’t the first time I had dreamt that Kyle could speak.  My dreams are always “instant miracle” dreams and in them, we are all amazed and crying with joy.  

I even let myself daydream about it sometimes.  I close my eyes and imagine the what ifs.  

What if Kyle could dress himself and put on his own shoes and brush his own teeth?  

What if Kyle didn’t need me to change his diaper? 

What if Kyle connected with Kaylie like she so desperately desired?  

I don’t allow myself to daydream like this often because it has the potential of sending me on a downward spiral into sadness and depression.  

But enough about me; what does Kyle dream?  I see the way he looks into my eyes and how he longs for me to understand what he wants so badly to tell me.  I have seen his bites of frustration when we do not understand what he is trying to communicate.  Does Kyle dream of being able to talk to me?  Does he wake up from his dream and wonder if he can?  Does he, like me, want to close his eyes again and live in his dream?

I will never know the answers to these questions.  But then the sun comes up and it’s time to start a new day, time to let the dreams fade away and face our reality.  A reality that I wish I could change to mimic my dreams, but a reality I love nonetheless.  

Meet Kyle and check out our reality on our YouTube Channel!