Live a Life of Love
Sometimes, I just have to talk to another mom who is living a life like I live. These are the moms that truly “get” what I go through, as I raise a son with special needs. I have several friends who have a child similar to Kyle and one of them was the “lucky” one to whom I poured out my feelings one day.
Here is part of what I sent to her in an email one day:
I just have to ask…how do you manage to keep going, while working outside of the home and taking care of all of your child’s needs? I guess I manage to “keep going” because there is no other choice, of course, but I feel so overwhelmed at times and feel guilty. I feel like I’m not doing enough for Kyle at home or afraid that I’m not taking advantage of every opportunity out there to help him reach his full potential. Any tips? Secrets? How do you do it?
And here is part of her response to me:
I can’t even come close to what I feel my child needs. I do what I can and appreciate the people in her life that help her in areas that I can’t. Kelli, at the end of the day, you will do more for Kyle by just loving him every moment you can. He needs a mom and sister and dad more than extra therapies! You are already doing what you need to do!
It sounded so simple.
Her words flooded me with relief and I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She wrote this to me years ago, and as you can tell, I have not forgotten. I remind myself of her words when I feel overwhelmed. I don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to be everything to Kyle, but just love him. Of course, there is always going to be a new therapy to try, a new method of teaching a child who is nonverbal, a new bit of research to read. And I’ll do some of those things and not beat myself up when I can’t do them all.
Because I don’t want to live a life of feeling guilty.
Nor a life of stress.
Nor a life of chaos.
Nor a life of perfectionism.
I want to live a life of love, and loving Kyle is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
